Udo Kier is a killer in pursuit of his art in Fall Down Dead.
Picasso and his Christmas slay
By Don Simpson
Do not let the title fool you, those who fall down in Fall Down Dead do not die. In fact, there is no logical correlation between the title and the film. Is Fall Down Dead really all that director Jon Keeyes and writer Roy Sallows could muster for a title? Why not take a cue from the Halloween or Friday the 13th franchises and use a title like Christmas Eve or December the 24th? Or use something cheesy like Christmas Slay? Okay, fine. I’ll quit my complaining and just get this review over with.
It is Christmas Eve and the Picasso Killer (Udo Kier) is doing some carving. No, he is not carving up a Christmas turkey, ham or other butchered animal. This Picasso (not to be confused with artist Pablo Picasso who, according to Jonathan Richman, has never been called an "asshole") uses a straight razor to carve the skin from his female prey in order to create works of fine art. Males, on the other hand, are mere nuisances not worthy of Picasso’s artistic talents; so he typically uses other means, such as guns, to do away with them.
Upon bumping into Christie (Dominique Swain), as she is wandering down a creepy alley late at night, Picasso realizes that he has found the perfect specimen for his artistic masterpiece. But before Picasso is able to get his blade under her milky white skin, Christie scurries away to the Hitchcock Building where she finds a fumbling and bumbling security guard, Wade (David Carradine). It is not long before two vice detectives arrive, Stefan (Mehmet Gunsur) and Lawrence (R. Keith Harris), to take Christie’s statement. Of course, Picasso also shows up to the Hitchcock Building and he subsequently traps Christie, Wade, Stefan, Lawrence and a few others inside (conveniently during a rolling blackout, thus rendering cellphones useless) –- providing the perfect opportunity for him to slay up some Christmas Eve cheer.
Fall Down Dead features several horror show standards/clichés/references: the woman walking alone down a dark and secluded alley (when will the women of horror films ever learn?); the woman walking alone in a parking garage late at night (when will the women of horror films ever learn?); the frantic pushing of elevator buttons (as if the elevator will come quicker); the frantic yanking at locked doors (as if the door will miraculously unlock and open); the token shower scene (one word: Psycho); the citywide rolling blackouts (more like a writer cop out just to make things that much simpler for the villain); the small group of strangers stuck in a building being picked off one at a time (if they could only hear my ever-so-helpful survival advice as I shout at the screen). Thus Fall Down Dead is predictable and, for the most part, void of suspense.
Do not let the title fool you, those who fall down in Fall Down Dead do not die. In fact, there is no logical correlation between the title and the film. Is Fall Down Dead really all that director Jon Keeyes and writer Roy Sallows could muster for a title? Why not take a cue from the Halloween or Friday the 13th franchises and use a title like Christmas Eve or December the 24th? Or use something cheesy like Christmas Slay? Okay, fine. I’ll quit my complaining and just get this review over with.
It is Christmas Eve and the Picasso Killer (Udo Kier) is doing some carving. No, he is not carving up a Christmas turkey, ham or other butchered animal. This Picasso (not to be confused with artist Pablo Picasso who, according to Jonathan Richman, has never been called an "asshole") uses a straight razor to carve the skin from his female prey in order to create works of fine art. Males, on the other hand, are mere nuisances not worthy of Picasso’s artistic talents; so he typically uses other means, such as guns, to do away with them.
Upon bumping into Christie (Dominique Swain), as she is wandering down a creepy alley late at night, Picasso realizes that he has found the perfect specimen for his artistic masterpiece. But before Picasso is able to get his blade under her milky white skin, Christie scurries away to the Hitchcock Building where she finds a fumbling and bumbling security guard, Wade (David Carradine). It is not long before two vice detectives arrive, Stefan (Mehmet Gunsur) and Lawrence (R. Keith Harris), to take Christie’s statement. Of course, Picasso also shows up to the Hitchcock Building and he subsequently traps Christie, Wade, Stefan, Lawrence and a few others inside (conveniently during a rolling blackout, thus rendering cellphones useless) –- providing the perfect opportunity for him to slay up some Christmas Eve cheer.
Fall Down Dead features several horror show standards/clichés/references: the woman walking alone down a dark and secluded alley (when will the women of horror films ever learn?); the woman walking alone in a parking garage late at night (when will the women of horror films ever learn?); the frantic pushing of elevator buttons (as if the elevator will come quicker); the frantic yanking at locked doors (as if the door will miraculously unlock and open); the token shower scene (one word: Psycho); the citywide rolling blackouts (more like a writer cop out just to make things that much simpler for the villain); the small group of strangers stuck in a building being picked off one at a time (if they could only hear my ever-so-helpful survival advice as I shout at the screen). Thus Fall Down Dead is predictable and, for the most part, void of suspense.
Kier is his usual creepy self. I have to admit that his performance is really the only reason, other than some nice interior set and lighting design, to watch Fall Down Dead. Carradine -– in his first true foray into slapstick comedy –- appears to be channeling Don Knotts (yes, his performance is as strange as it sounds). Swain (best known for her breakout role playing Dolores Haze in Adrian Lyne’s Lolita) is perfectly adept at playing the stereotypical horror film leading lady –- always running, screaming and complaining –- yet she is also fairly convincing once she toughens up and becomes the film’s heroine.
